Real Talk: I Love Valentine’s Day + (A Wood Watch Gift for Your Boo!)

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I partnered with Jord Watches to giveaway $100! Keep reading to learn how.

My History with Valentine’s Day…

When I was a kid I loved Valentine’s Day. I loved the tacky candy and the teddy bears and the cute cards we collected at school. But as I grew up, it got harder to celebrate the way I wanted to because everyone around me hated it. I buried this part of me until I met Frank and now I’m pulling out all the stops. This year I’m giving him a beautiful zebrawood and dark sandalwood wood watch.

I feel like a kid again. I am so thrilled I have found someone that’s going to embrace this sort of cheesy, oddly romantic side of me. I think Valentine’s day is so special to me because my parents always spent it with my brothers and I. We’d have a special dinner and then sit together to pick out chocolates from our big heart shaped boxes. With so much hate in the world it feels good to spend time to celebrate love.


Celebrating like a grown up with a wood watch…

Now, just because I am into tacky candy doesn’t mean I don’t have great taste when it comes to gifts and celebrating. No teddy bears here!

A couple of months ago Frank’s beloved watch broke. He gave up on ever finding a decent replacement. Enter this unique wood watch from Jord. Frank is not a flashy guy (one of my favorite things about him), he essentially wears the same cut of shirt everyday, jeans, and a pair of boots, so a metal band was out of the question. A more minimalist wood watch was perfect for him because it is unique enough to be special, but low key enough to be worn everyday to work, bars, parties, and meetings. I also gave him the wood watch early (oops!) because I wanted him to pick out his style and wood grains. There are a ton of options. They can also be engraved, which is a nice touch.

In addition to the gift I’ll probably take him out for dinner (I cook all the time and while I am pretty decent, a night out is always nice) and go see a movie. Ok, and yes, I will eat a lot of tacky Valentine’s Day candy because I just can’t help myself!

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Wood Watch Giveaway!

Now it’s your turn to rock a unique piece. I’ve partnered with Jord Watches to giveaway $100 on their site to my readers and followers! All you have to do is CLICK HERE, enter your e-mail, and wait for your name to be drawn. All entrants will receive a 10% off code after the contest is over. (It’s a win-win.) Anyone can enter and don’t worry, it’s not just for men, Jord also has a great line of women’s watches. So you can gift a unique men’s or women’s watch for Valentine’s Day (or any day) too!

Let me know what you pick out for your loved one (or yourself) this season!

Wooden Wrist Watch


Call for Courage Challenge – Share Your Talents

Hey party people!

First, before I do anything I just want to thank everyone that visits my blog on a weekly basis. You guys are really why I am here doing this. Otherwise I’d be talking to space, nothingness, a white wall, the sky, my dog. So thank you! The greatest gift you can give me is your eyeballs! The second greatest and sharing my posts. If you read something and you like it please share it! A little bit goes a long way, you have no idea.


Last month I announced that I’d be doing a Call for Courage Challenge all year long and we’ve already made it to the next installment! I don’t know where January went but we are just cruising along here toward spring (yes!). Last month I challenged you all to reach out to someone you admired or missed. I wanted you to call, text, DM a person that made you nervous for one reason or another. What I heard from those who tried was mainly how hard it was to do this and how the result was nothing like you imagined. I am so proud of you for taking this scary step!

I am taking this challenge too so I decided that I would reach out to an influencer I admire and tell them as such. I reached out to @jera.bean. I have been following her for quite sometime and so appreciate her honesty about her journey. I sent her a DM explaining the challenge, why I admired her and pressed send with my eyeballs closed. And guess what? She responded and invited me to a Soul Cycle class as her guest. A week later I met her in person and took her class (which was killer btw)!

Honestly I thought I’d get a nice DM back but I never imagined she’d be so open to welcoming me into her space. It was so cool, the class was amazing, and I admire her even more.


Jera Foster-Fell aka @jera.bean


On that note, this month’s challenge is to SHARE YOUR TALENTS. What are you working on that you rarely tell people about? (It took me years at my day job to tell anyone I write.) What accomplishments have you been too embarrassed to share? (Did you finally try a spin class?) What’s a super weird secret talent of yours? (Can you yodel? No seriously, if anyone can yodel e-mail me ASAP.) Remember, it can be big, small, long, short, whatever. No talent is too insignificant for the Call for Courage Challenge. Take this month to announce to the world: THIS IS WHAT I CAN DO! And then get back over here and tell me how it goes (or message me on social, or e-mail me, or whatever!) I am dying to hear more stories about you all!

Light, love, red wine–

Guest Post: What If One Question Could Change Your Life?

Photo by Daryn Stumbaugh on Unsplash

What If One Question Could Change Your Life?

The simplest definition of courage is ‘the ability to do something that frightens one.’ As children, we are naturally fearless. We see the world as it is, we ask for exactly what we want (whether with words or not), and we are unapologetic as we ask questions to learn. Yet as we grow older, society begins to slow down this fearlessness. We worry about what people think, we learn that not all questions have fair or just answers, and we perceive more consequences for failures. All of this leads to making it more and more difficult to be courageous.

As a leadership facilitator and coach, I talk about failure a lot. One of my favorite sessions to lead is on the topic, and requires people to consider and share their failures—without speaking about the solution. It is deeply uncomfortable and requires immense vulnerability, yet it breeds courage in a deeply intense way. Most people are great at dreaming about what their life could look like—we create vision boards, set New Year resolutions, and make three-year goals. Yet, when it comes down to it, we become afraid and frozen. What if I fail? What if my goals are too lofty? What if I’m not good enough? The definition of fear includes an incredibly important—and limiting—word in it: belief. Fear is an “unpleasant emotion caused by the belief” that something is dangerous, a threat, will cause pain, etc. So when you get stuck in fear, or feel like there is no way you can create the life you want, ask yourself one question.

What’s Stopping You?

It is a simple question, right? Yet so often we read self-help books or articles on personal growth, but we never actually do what they say to do. So if there is ONE question that can significantly help you push past your comfort zone and find courage to achieve your goals and dreams, ask yourself this one. What is stopping you? Write down your answer, say it out loud in the mirror, or ask a friend (or better yet—a coach) to ask you. Asking it once will not be enough—you might need to ask it over and over again, at every step of the process. Yet when you do, you will find that what you think is stopping you is most often a belief, perception, or fear. And by calling it out, you just might find that it is much easier to find the courage to push past it.

For me, I had a lot of fear when it came writing. I work in philanthropy, I coach and train great business leaders, and I have a deep desire to support others as they find their purpose and the unique impact they can make—but am I a writer? So a few years ago, I asked myself—what’s stopping me? For me, it was the fear that I wasn’t good enough, that people would criticize what I had to say, and that I wouldn’t have enough good ideas. Those limiting beliefs were stopping me, so I didn’t write. When I finally found the courage to apply to become a Forbes contributor—and got it—I was equal parts thrilled and terrified. And when I wrote my first article, the very first comment on a tweet I got was “crap article”. I actually laughed out loud—someone had criticized my work—and it didn’t feel so bad! I had been so preoccupied with getting negative comments, that I realized that actually getting them was not so bad. I then focused on the thousands of other people who enjoyed what I wrote, and hopefully found it useful. I continue to cultivate the courage by embracing the times that I don’t get an article published, or receive a critique—because at least I’m doing it, and I’ll continue to get better.

Get Started Now

It’s time to get started. Making a change in your life, finding courage, going after that goal—is a choice. Decide what you want, ask what is stopping for you, and consider whether it is a real or perceived barrier. Most likely, you’ll find that it’s a fear—so muster up the courage, because you will truly never know if you don’t try. The worst thing that will happen is you fail, learn, and either pivot or try again. Courage can be cultivated with practice, so the more you do things that frighten you, the more your life will open up and present limitless opportunities.

Kate Hayes
Kate Hayes is the director of Direct Impact at Echoing Green and is an independent leadership coach through Impact & Bliss. At Echoing Green, she oversees programming for business leaders who are dedicated to realizing their full potential as agents of social change. She leads retreats, workshops, and immersive site visits focused on leadership development, purpose, strategic governance, philanthropy, and social entrepreneurship. In her coaching work, she focuses on helping professionals accelerate their career and their life, while understanding how to make a meaningful impact on the world. Kate is a contributor at Forbes, where she writes millennials and their careers. For more, check out

January Book Round-Up

Hey everyone! I have always wanted to share book reviews on here but I never really felt like I had place or voice to do so. Then I realized that’s all bullshit and any of us can do whatever we want as long as what we’re putting out in the world is honest, coming from a place of love, and the best work we can possibly do.

Yes! I am finally starting to embrace what this blog is all about. Only took me like 3 years.

So starting now I’ll be sharing brief reviews and synopses from the books I read every month. I am warning you now– I never stick to one genre, author, or theme. I read all over the place, all the time. There MAY be an uptick of Western stuff in the coming months as I research a project of mine, but that’s about it.

BNBlue Nights – Joan Didion

Blue Nights picks up where The Year of Magical Thinking left off. Both are memoirs of grief that Didion captures with heartfelt honesty and clarity. In Blue Nights Didion floods light into every dark memory and turns over each happy memory again and again like a stone. We are very much in her mind, rattling through her thoughts with her, no matter how repetitive or meditative. Personally, I love The Year of Magical Thinking more because of its depth and narrative, but it is easy to do that. To enjoy Blue Nights you must be willing to do the work alongside her. It’s tough but rewarding.


bedWomen in Bed: Nine Stories – Jessica Keener

Lately I’ve been giving short stories a whirl. After buying Roxanne Gay’s recent collection, I remembered the things I loved about the form and have decided to return. (I left because they reminded me of poorly structured school assignments…) Jessica Keener’s collection of stories follows women of all walks facing changes both in their control and not. The first of my favorite stories, “Boarders”, tells the story of a college-aged woman living in a boarding house with elderly men while sorting out her dating life. It highlights how we often seek shelter in the wrong places. My other favorite, “Recovery”, is the heartbreaking tale of sudden death and survival and how we don’t always have the answers we need. The depth of pain in this story is contrasted against the stark hospital surroundings and left me deeply moved. Some of the characters lose depth from time to time, but overall it was an engaging read.


Strangers on a Train – Patricia Highsmithstrangers

How I missed this one until now is it’s own mystery. (See what I did there?) Many of you will know this story from Alfred Hitchcock’s film of the same name. I also haven’t seen the movie so being able to read the book prior to doing so (I am definitely going to now) was a real treat. At first I felt like the story started out slow and I was getting a tiny bit frustrated with the sedate and steady unfolding. How wrong I was! Highsmith builds a wild, important world and all that slow sharing really pays off in the end. This is a crime novel like nothing I’ve read and really focuses on how ordinary people can be driven to commit crimes they never imagined they could. I am obsessed with how Highsmith weaves this story and keeps you on board until the end. Incredible book to pick up ASAP.


elephant-vanishesThe Elephant Vanishes – Haruki Murakami (Translated by Jay Rubin & Alfred Birnbaum)

Before this collection of short stories the only book by Murakami I had read was his memoir What I Talk About When I Talk About Running which I read during my giant memoir phase. At this time, I was also super interested in writer’s working schedules and routines and how they incorporated fitness. I loved the ease with which he wrote that story and was interested to see how it would play into fiction. Fast forward a couple years to now–I’m on my short story kick and the boyfriend owns this one. Win! Murakami’s stories are enticing, and weird, and sexy all at the same time. No two stories are the same, though there are lots of reoccurring themes, and I didn’t have trouble getting on board with the more sci-fi level stuff. However, there are few female characters I identify with, and a couple times questioned how he represents women in his work, but overall the language and storytelling were unique and powerful.

Can’t wait to share new books with you next month. Let me know what you think of this new section and you can keep up with my reading list DAILY by following me on Goodreads! CLICK HERE.


Poet Interview – Arthur Perez Junior -@apjpoetry

Stop by every other month for extensive interviews with my favorite up and coming poets. First up in this new series is Arthur Perez Junior. I met Arthur on Instagram and was blown away by his words and depth of feeling. And full disclosure, I was super intrigued to hear and learn more from him because he has accomplished the goal I am now working toward–publishing a book of poetry. (You can buy his book Wandering here.) On to the interview…! 

Arthur Perez Junior

1. When did you start writing poetry?
I started writing at a very young age, around 10 or so. I had always been interested in stories, story telling and adventure and it really came to life when my father got a word processor (new school typewriter). From that point I wrote shorts stories and poems daily.

2. Since that time, how has your work changed/grown/evolved?
I developed a love of reading and found myself finding influence in the books I read and movies I watched. I have tried to remain true to my feelings and ideas. My style has evolved into something I would categorize as my own, my own style per se, and the ease at which words come has increased over the years.
3. What themes do you find yourself coming back to and why?
Love. It is always love. I have grown into somewhat of a hopeless romantic. I adore the melancholy of love and loss and the theme continues to carry through into my writing consistently.
4. Can you remember one of they very first poems you read?
I remember reading Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken, for the very first time and being so profoundly moved. Even at a young age the idea of forging my own way, resisting the urge to do the ordinary and venture out into the world without certainty. That poem has been ingrained in my mind, a reminder of the value in struggle and persistence.
One of my favorites from Arthur’s IG Feed
5. There are so many forms of writing. Why poetry for you?
I love rhyme, and although a lot comes through as prose, I have always been drawn to the whimsical nature of poetry. I have been very influenced by late 80s and early 90s hip hop. The flow of the words was intoxicating, and prompted me to get into spoken word and eventually recording and releasing 2 hip hop albums.
6. Who are your favorite “established” poets? 
I love Frost, Rumi, Shakespere, Dickinson, TS Elliot, and scores of others. I love classic literature, and there is no shortage of brilliance.
7. Any up and coming poets you enjoy?
In this age of social media, I am amazed at the sheer amount of talent. There are so many gifted writers with a platform to present there work on a daily basis. I have found several people that move me and if I take the time to follow, have something worthwhile to say.
8. What was it like putting a book of poetry together?
Nerve wrecking and exhilarating. Going through revisions, deciding what gets removed or added and learning the intricacies of publishing were all exciting. I loved the process of it all and hope to take what I’ve learned and make the next release even better.
9. What are your plans for the future with your work?
I am in the process of completing my next release, Star Sailors. I am shooting for an April release. It is all about self exploration and discovery with a space theme. I am very excited about this book and am working tirelessly to ensure that it gets the proper promotion.
10. What’s some advice/motivation you could give to other poets?
First of all, don’t wait. Do it. Release your book and don’t look back. Learn through the process and grow!
Second, have a plan. Do your homework and figure out what works for you.
Thirdly, I would say its your world. Don;t conform. Write what you like, release what you want, and enjoy the ride. 🙂 If you are copying someone’s style, the world has already seen it. Perfect your craft and be the original!
You can connect with Arthur here:

Instagram: @apjpoetry
Are you or do you know an up and coming poet I should feature? Drop me a note in the comments below or hit me up on IG!