Ten Reoccurring Times I’ve Disappointed My Mother
(Ranked by the length of time she holds out the last syllable of my name.)

10. I Haven’t Booked My Tickets Home for a Wedding Yet
Syllable Count: Amandaaa


9. I Haven’t Figured Out Those Medical Bills Yet
Syllable Count: Amandaaaa

8. I Forgot to Call My Grandpa On His Birthday
Syllable Count: Amandaaaaa

7. I Almost Got Fired at Work… But Survived
Syllable Count: Less drawn out, exasperated, depressive Amanda.

6. I Got Into (Another) Bar Fight
Syllable Count: Almost proud Amandaaaaaa!

5. I Bought Something Full Price & Not On Sale
Syllable Count: Amandaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hhh


4. I Left Trash In Her Car When I Borrowed It
Syllable Count: Super pissed AMANDA.

3. My Little Brother Did Something Wrong
Syllable Count: Amandaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2. I Didn’t Finish My Wine
Syllable Count: Endlessly embarrassed Amandaaaaaaa

1. I SPILLED MY WINE
Syllable Count: Too high pitched to be heard by humans AND dogs