Going to take a quick detour from my usual blog posts centered around living your best life, and writing your best stuff, and eating your best food, to announce that I have a crush on the man that makes my face lotion.
If you aren’t a Lushie (someone obsessed with Lush products) you probably don’t know that all of the organic, vegan products that this store carries are handmade. Yes, a store that sells face wash and hard soaps has a cult following and we have named ourselves. Get over it, that’s not the point of this!
To prove that the products are handmade, each one bears the sticker with the name and a cartoon of the person who made it. If you shop there enough you will have repeats; actually you’ll have repeats more often than you would think. This is such a nice touch because you feel like you get to know them.
Brandon is by far the cutest Lush product maker and I can just tell by his subtle ear gauge, nineties chin-only beard and charmingly uncomfortable smile that he’s the type of guy to buy a girl flowers but then follow-up by taking her to a concert for an obscure Ska band or what’s left of Blink-182. He believes in the vegan products he makes and would probably shame me for all the pepperoni I eat, but deep down he means well, and will even indulge in some ice cream from time to time.
This man pops up on so many of my products I am starting to wonder if we’re meant to be together. Should I be ordering a custom plug for his ear so it arrives in time for Christmas? Does he celebrate Christmas? So many thoughts when really all I should be doing is washing my face and going to bed… and oh yeah, texting my actual real life boyfriend. (Who will totally be cool with this because I am normally pretty stable and funny and nice and I’ve brainwashed him…)
But really, who is this adorable man? Where does he live? WHO ARE YOU MAKER OF 9-5 and Celestial?! He’s by far my favorite product maker and if the sales people at Lush weren’t so aggressively helpful, I would always seek out his face when buying my vegan face goods. He’s that dreamy!
I went as far to Google “Brandon from Lush” to make sure I’m not missing some cult phenomenon. But there were only two returns, and those were reviews, not love letters. So the playing field is wide open…
I’m just wondering when he can come over and teach me how to make my own damn face wash. Leads on Brandon appreciated…
cheapcourage.com 
That’s my uncle… He’s happily married with a baby boy. Yes he celebrates Christmas, and no he longer wears his spacers. He’s all about that dad life now.
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Brandon is not gay. He loves pepperoni and is not vegetarian or vegan. I’m his wife (also a lush compounder) we live in Toronto and have a beautiful son. He definitely would not go to a ska concert but loves music especially 90’s hard punk. His spacers have since gone down in size and his beard is usually full but short. Our best friends are all those happy faces you see on the stickers plus many more who make products who don’t require face stickers. Lush has been a huge part of our lives for many years and we want to continue it that way. Our teenaged niece came across your blog post and the whole family is getting a kick out of it! We’re well aware of our cult following lushies, Brandon is on a few of the company’s YouTube videos along with myself and other people making happy “soap”. If you ever want to come and tour the “kitchen” (manufacturing) and blog about it more; let us know!
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Hi Katie!! First of all, wow, thank you for being so unbelievably cool about my ultra creepy post! 🙂 Like I told your niece, I tend to get way too heavy on my blog and wanted to try out being “funny” and since I see Brandon most mornings when I am getting for work, it occurred to me I should write about it. Hahaha.
I love how you are all best friends in real life, that just makes my day!!
I would absolutely LOVE to come visit and write about it. Let’s make it happen!
Thanks for being wonderful. 🙂
Amanda
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He actually lives in Canada and I play PlayStation with him. So back off.
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Brandon is as nice as you have imagined- I know as he is my nephew.
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Hi Aunt Kim! I could just tell he was the nicest, thanks for confirming. 🙂
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And he’s not gay. But he is married.
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Omg. I’m his sister and this blog is making me laugh. 😂😂😂
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Hahaha, so happy I could give you a chuckle! That was the goal. 🙂
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Best of luck with your fantasy? Lol omg this is so weird.
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That’s my uncle, his name is Brandon Bear and he’s married with a little baby boy named Lincoln. I found this article so uncomfortable. xD I knew he was lowkey famous with fan girls but not like this.
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Hahahaha! I really hope I didn’t weird you out *too* much. 🙂 My blogs are so serious all the time and so this was my stab at being “funny.” I hope it worked! :p
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I think he is gay…lol.
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This is my fear lol
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