Come In and Know Me Better, Man

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Ugh, I knew this was going to be a tough one to write but I have to do it. It’s the next step in this little evolution I’m experiencing right now. So here it is…

I’m a super jealous person.

Oh my god, I can’t believe that’s in print now, but here we go!

I’m a super jealous person, it’s my worst character trait, and I hate it. I wish my first instinct when someone has something really great happen to them was not to wonder what I’m doing wrong and what they’re doing right and if I’ll ever have that “thing” happen to me. But it is and it’s exhausting.

I am sure my sense of jealousy stems from my tendency to constantly compare and contrast everything that I am presented with. I’m a tiny bit… analytical. So when I see ANYTHING, anything at all, I want to know how it happened, how it works, and how I can do the same thing. It’s weird but I’m like a super smart Chimpanzee or a four year old — I want to know how everything works so I can make it mine.

The good news is that I know this about myself. I can now recognize it when it happens and control it. I tell my brain stuff like, “Calm down, wow.” “This is great for them, be happy, weirdo.” I channel my jealousy into fuel to work harder on myself and my own projects and then I take a few minutes to think about the person, the thing, and I always realize in the end, “This is really awesome. I am so happy for them.” It just takes me longer than the average bear to come to this conclusion. I’m fighting my natural state. And I’m hoping by doing so that it won’t be my natural state anymore.

I’m curious… what would you say is your biggest character flaw? How do you fight it? Or do you not? Tell me, tell me. I’m monkey who wants to know stuff!

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