Spending time alone is a skill that I’ve had to diligently learn over the past year. I know it is something that comes easily to others–I can tell by all the memes about staying home– but for me, staying at home alone has been a challenge.
As a direct result of becoming more focused on my work, I’ve had to spend more time alone. I spend hours diligently putting words on paper and then moving them around until they are arranged in a way that doesn’t make me want to pull out my hair. Writing is an awfully solitary activity, and painstaking to boot.
I spent three nights last week coming home after to work to write and cuddle my dog. Three nights in a row without any social interaction is a major moment for me and what’s even more exciting is this single fact: I didn’t hate it. I didn’t hate it at all! Writing is something I have both loved and hated my entire my life and to warmly embrace it as I did last week has me smiling from ear to ear.
I love the process of writing. I become obsessive with switching out commas and words to make better sentences and stronger thoughts. The power that a single comma can hold still amazes me. I suppose my obsession with sentence structure is close to what geneticists feel for a chain of DNA.
I hate the process of writing. Sometimes I could spend an hour on a single sentence and it still won’t convey what I want it to. My brain and the keyboard get misaligned and everything falls apart. I have to be alone for hours at a time with just my thoughts, which are constantly asking me to analyze them and to find meaning in every daily interaction. I simply can not ever just be– chances are if we hung out recently I did one if not all of these things:
- Questioned our relationship and how I can make it better (Is it worth making better?)
- Try to find a connection between that moment and a previous moment in my life (What does it mean?)
- Been in awe of life and how pleasant serendipity can be (Can’t make this up.)
- Seared the moment into my memory by mentally writing down colors, smells, and the look on your face (I don’t want to forget you, this.)
For the first time in my life I have fully embraced what it means to have a writer’s life and exactly what it takes to get everything done. Or… attempt to get everything done. I am really coming to find that time, persistence, diligence, and consistency are really the keys to having anything you want in life. I am doing my best to take the good with the bad.
A big key player in all of this is also scheduling. I put a lot of time and energy into building my days. If you’re a friend of mine you’ve definitely gotten about 15 texts in a row as I decide how to structure my weekend to get it all done. It seems like nuisance but actually I find it to be quite rewarding.
I’ve included my current weekday schedule for kicks. I am constantly trying to improve it so let me know what you think. I usually workout in the morning but recently just changed this because I read that the first thing you should do when you wake up is what’s most important to you. (Cuddles, obvi.)
6am – I wake up and cuddle my dog for 15 minutes.
6:15am-7:15am – I make a tea or ACV infused water and work on any writing project on my to do list. Lately it is a lot of blog posts and writing contests.
7:15am-7:45am – I walk my dog.
7:45am-8:30am – I eat breakfast and (reluctantly) get ready for work.
9am-5:30pm – I work and work and work as an Office Manager.
6pm-7pm – If I’m lucky I am home this early. I walk my dog.
7pm-8pm – I use this time to work out either at home HIIT/weight training or go for a run
8pm-8:30pm – I shower and eat dinner
8:30-10pm – I write and cuddle my dog once again
10-11pm – I let myself read or watch TV
11pm – I pass out and sleep for 7 hours